“Fairy tales are more than true – not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten.”

– Neil Gaiman, paraphrasing G.K. Chesterton

available at Night Owl Counseling

What kind of person are you?

I am a…

[more to come about what I can offer you! I deal with many kinds of marginalization too. Let’s figure out how to get you doing better despite a society that wasn’t built with us in mind.]

[more to come!] I have invested countless hours into melding the best components of Citizen-Centred Leadership Development, John Lorde’s New Story, the PLAN system, and other systems for Independent Facilitation. At the heart of them all is a fierce passion for people with disabilities to lead lives not just ‘as good as’ others’, but the best they can possibly be.

Let me share my unique blend of Independent Facilitation and disability community activism with you and your loved one. No matter what you are facing together, we will find a good way forward.

I’m in my early 30’s and I’m well aware that that means I’m already old.
I’m not going to pretend to be cooler than I am – I’m not into being ‘fake’.

What I can do is listen, be respectful, be open to new information, set my assumptions aside,
and get excited about what teenagers are discovering and realizing (often at lightning speed).

What I can do is treat teens like they want to be treated – intelligent, skilled young adults with endless potential.

What I can do is provide perspective – the wisdom and strength of thousands of days of dusting myself off and trying again.
I can take the role of the kind queer friend who just wants the best for everyone.
I can provide context on why the world is like that, why people do That Thing, why feelings can be so hard to deal with,
and how to cope with what life throws at us.

Notes: Depending on your unique family situation, I may occasionally ask to also speak with various people in a teenager’s life. However, I will never share information about my primary client (the teen) with others without their express prior consent.

The bulk of my practice is with adults – welcome! Check out the following two drop-downs for more info on what kinds of support I can provide.

It can be hard enough to reach out for help when you need it, and it’s even harder when you can’t be sure that your counselor will take you seriously. Good mental health services proudly advertise that they have experience safely supporting all kinds of marginalized identities, but when was the last time you saw a clinical competence statement about working with furries? Whether you’re just trying to understand a friend better, in it for the art, finding community in a shared hobby, or really feel like you are your fursona – it’s safe to be your whole self here. I base my work off of FurScience’s multi-year research projects, combined with my own experiences in the fandom.

If you have been brushed off, ignored, made to feel broken, or otherwise mistreated: know that you are just as deserving of support, kindness, and proper mental health care as everyone else. Your experiences and/or diagnosis(es) do not make you ‘impossible’ – you have simply been blamed for other people’s lack of skill, resources, or confidence.

I will not push any specific ‘better life’ at you. You are in control here, and I will listen without judgment.

What are you looking for, or dealing with in your life?

(Before we go any further: You deserve better than what happened to you – no one deserves pain. I believe you and I believe that your future can be brighter than the past.)

So you survived – that’s amazing, but now what? Maybe the world is a darker place, maybe you’re frustrated and feeling ‘stuck’, maybe you’re fine 95% of the time except when That Thing is all you can think about. You keep falling back into patterns you swore you’d never repeat, and you don’t know why you ‘never learn even though you know better’.

I can help you find ways to cope; get precious calm and breathing room when triggered; become less reactive.
Together, we can explore what happened – the thoughts, the feelings, the experiences – and bring down the pain that surrounds it. I can provide the tools for excavating meaning and a sense of purpose from the ruins of ‘before’.
Over time, we can build a roadmap for a future where you feel safe, capable, strong – and like yourself again.

Trust me – I can relate! Congratulations on making it this far, because you probably don’t feel like it’s much of an accomplishment. You’re stronger than you think, and I can help you discover where it’s hiding.

Chances are, ‘getting organized’ will have a lot of parts. Shame, fear, frustration, and more can block us from making progress on the exact things that are most important to us. I can provide support across many areas at once – the emotional un-blocking, the skill-building, the community resources, and more.

Note: You do not have to be diagnosed with anything (e.g. ADHD, depression) to benefit from these approaches.

It’s the 2020’s, but we’re still living in a world where ‘coming out’ can be anywhere from nerve-wracking to dangerous depending on our multi-layered situations.
Whoever you are, whatever you feel, and whoever you love (including nobody) – it’s all valid.
Let’s settle in,
get you any vocabulary and resources you might need,
address those fears,
and brainstorm those challenges.
Most importantly, let’s explore what makes you amazing – exactly as you are.

We live in an oppressive, colonial, imperialist society that attacks difference and rewards some of the worst in human behaviour. Power and wealth are distributed unfairly, and every step of progress seems to mean a loss elsewhere. That is rough and it is reasonable to be upset about it. I’m not here to tone-police anyone.

Whatever form (or forms) of oppression you face, it shouldn’t be that way. You and I might share an oppressed identity, or perhaps I can only act as an ally to you – but either way, I believe you. Microaggressions are real and so are systemic oppressions.

You are the expert in your own life, and I’m here to support you however you need. I can connect you with more peer support, help you find greater pride in who you are, and share tools for the ultimate resistance at a personal level: thriving in an indifferent or even hostile world, so well that you can lift others up with you.

Note: I am committed to learning and growing as rapidly as I can. If my website, sessions, or anything else are driving you away or causing harm, I will be deeply grateful for any feedback you might find the energy to offer. I will take responsibility for my actions and do whatever I can to implement changes quickly.

Intersectionality is real, vital – and too frequently overlooked. I experience multiple oppressions myself, and I feel in my bones how much harder it is to navigate society/life when every tailored resource seems to erase the rest of my needs.

I can handle the complex politics of topics like intersectionality in ‘safe spaces’, and the difficult feelings on every side. Whether you just don’t want to have to explain yourself a dozen times while exploring other topics, or you’re searching for unique community / supports that will appreciate all of you, I’m here to help.

Do you feel like a background character in someone else’s story?
A leaf caught up in the windstorm of life?
Like a house of cards, one step from [copywrite material] – ahem

No matter who you are, or whether you feel you have even the slightest strength or uniqueness – there is a purpose waiting for you, and a life filled with meaning.

If you’re so close that you can almost taste it, but you’re stuck somewhere – let’s get the ball rolling again.
If you don’t even know where to start? I have multiple roadmaps we can explore together.

Note: If you have any kind of funding or coverage for career coaching, Independent Facilitation, life planning, etc, this process may qualify – book a free consultation to find out!

Interpersonal relationships can be hard! But thankfully, they’re based on skills – not some kind of raw talent that you either have or don’t have. Believe it or not, I couldn’t make my own restaurant orders or place a phone call until I was at least 14 years old – and look at me now, in a career based 100% on talking to people (and about challenging feelings, no less!).

That isn’t to say ‘pull yourself up by your bootstraps!’ (and by the way, I got an immense amount of help and support from others to reach this point). No – what I do mean is that social anxiety, feelings of awkwardness, and communication patterns are all things we can work together to figure out. I can help you analyze any conversation, interaction, or action – of your own, or other people’s – and plan healthy ways to express yourself & respond to those around you.

I can also provide support around healthy boundaries; abuse prevention; online safety; consent; self-advocacy; and more.

You are not unlovable, and you don’t have to be alone forever.

I’m glad you asked! While some people are looking for specific therapeutic methods, many people just want help and want to know whether I can help with that problem – and a bunch of therapy jargon might get in the way.

For more information about theories and therapy approaches that I’m familiar with, just scroll down to the next drop-down menu on this page.

How do you want to access support?

I do best with… I need… I am interested in… I’m curious about… I want to try…

[3rd accordion; for now, focus on virtual one-on-one counseling as the primary mode available]